This isn't the End
by 2theSky
Summary: With Christmas quickly approaching, everyone is enjoying the holiday season... except Robin.


"Really, Baywatch?"

"What? High metabolism, remember?"

"So that means you down an entire pizza in thirty seconds? In public?"

Robin pushed his sunglasses up on his nose and snickered halfheartedly at the hushed argument breaking out between Wally and Artemis. There hadn't been any missions lately, and with M'gann somewhere he couldn't remember at the moment with her uncle and Aqualad leaving the mountain with Aquaman for a reason that happened to slip his mind, it was Wally's idea to go out for pizza at some new place around Happy Harbor.

Artemis rolled her dark eyes and crossed her arms, glancing at Superboy as he smirked at what was happening across from him. Somehow, her and Wally wound up on one side of the booth, and Conner and Robin on the other. She glanced at Robin, frowning. He was staring at the salt and pepper shakers seated crookedly in the condiment holder, a tiny bit of ketchup caked on the cap of the old fashioned glass bottle. He hadn't touched his food much; the slice of plain pizza and side salad were mainly intact, save for a few bites of pizza gone and a few tomatoes missing from the salad, one currently speared on his fork as he twirled it around the bowl. "Rob?"

"Hm?" Robin looked up, his face completely straight. She wished the kid would show some emotion other than his usual smirks or mini batglares or a dead poker face.

"You… you alright?"

He nodded, smirking. "Yeah, I'm good," he said softly, now choosing to stare through his glass of water, which was over half full.

Wally frowned as well, quickly exchanging a glance with Artemis, and then a shrug as well. Superboy glanced their way as well, concerned for the thirteen year old. What was bugging him?

Wally watched his friend for a moment. It wasn't the anniversary of… of the incident. That was still three months or so away. It was only December twenty-first-

Christmas.

Oh man.

Wally bit his lip and quickly grabbed a piece of the pizza Conner and Artemis were sharing, making Artemis punch him in the shoulder. "Hey!" he almost dropped the piece on the floor at the impact. "Can't a guy eat in peace?"

"Yes, if he's not you!" Artemis retorted, picking up her soda. "Honestly, watching you stuff your face like that makes people lose their appetite!"

Conner grinned at that, then glanced at Robin. The taller ebony stared at the shorter and frowned, his blue eyes narrowing. Wally obviously knew what was wrong; he'd grabbed something to stuff in his mouth so he didn't blurt it out. But… what was it? Family issue? A fight with Batman? What?

Robin forced himself to smile at a few more jokes and insults hurled between the Flash's protege and Green Arrow's supposed niece, as well as wolf down his pizza and more of his salad. He carefully avoided staring at the garland hanging between the tacky and faded pepto-bismo colored booths that were supposed to look like they were teleported out of the 1960's or something. He avoided looking up at the ceiling, where strings of Christmas lights danced in the draft from the vents overhead. And he avoided looking at the bright Christmas tree in the corner with a table sitting next to it, draped in a red tablecloth with sequins covering its edges and a wooden manger scene sitting on top of it.

The lump in Robins throat only grew with every passing minute. Christmas was in four days. Everyone had a family to celebrate it with… even a few of the Leaguers were coming in to spend some time with Conner.

Him?

Bruce would be leaving for a flight to deal with a new business proposal coming up in England… or was it France? No, France was last month. It was England. And Alfred was away, too; he was visiting his family.

Alone on Christmas.

Finally, Richard lifted his head, adjusting his glasses again as he stared daggers at the Christmas tree, mentally throwing the manger scene pieces to the ground and upsetting the table they were on. Why him? Why did stinking Tony Zucco have to go and kill his family? Why did he have to leave the circus? Why did he have to get stuck in a kid prison because the orphanages were full? Why…

A tear rolled down his cheek, and he wiped it off angrily, thankful that only seconds ago Wally and Artemis had dragged Conner off to the tiny arcade towards the entrance to the pizza place, saying something about Galaga. He shook his head and picked up his glass of water with a shaky hand, slowly gulping it down around what felt like a Christmas tree ornament that was building up in his throat the longer he held back his tears.

Maybe he'd go to the mountain for Christmas, spend the day with Superboy, another kid who wound up with a father… he was only Bruce Wayne's ward, after all. It wasn't like he was his son…

That hurt even more than being alone for one of the most painful holidays of the year. Bruce hadn't even noticed his disappointment at the news of him missing Christ's birthday for business.

"So not feeling the aster right now," he muttered, trying to get himself to finish off his salad. The cucumber in his mouth felt like rubber as he chewed it, focusing more on not surrendering to the tears he knew were coming; they were inevitable, but if he could keep the emotional dam from breaking until he reached the mountain and the zeta beam home…

Home.

At first, Wayne Manor felt like it could become home. But now… now it just seemed like a big house with no one in it, except a small and pale black haired boy who wanted his parents back, who wanted someone to spend his Christmas with.

Richard finally swallowed the cucumber and dared to glance around, his eyes falling on a girl across from him in a grey hoodie that had some dark spots from wear. A faded word-no, two words- stretched across the bottom back: Owl City. Her red hair fell down her back, past her waist just slightly. She was drawing something in a big sketchbook with a pink mechanical pencil, an older iPod resting by a cup of hot cocoa that she sipped from once in a while. She dropped a tiny paper that she had on her book and rushed to pick it up. When she turned, Dick could see she had on a pair of glasses that looked a little worn, the blue frames scratched. He wondered what condition her lenses were in.

Her hazel eyes looked tired as she got back in her chair at the counter, working on the little piece of paper, only to quickly shove it in her hoodie pocket as the waitress come over with a piece of pizza with sweet peppers on it. She smiled her thanks and waited for the Hispanic waitress to walk off in her red and black uniform. Robin frowned. What was on that paper that she was so keen on keeping it hidden? She wasn't leaving her number behind for that waitress… was she? He shivered at the thought, despite wearing a blue sweatshirt and black coat. That whole concept of a lifestyle just seemed off to him.

She lifted the paper for a second and Dick noticed that it wasn't her number. It was a drawing of some kind, with words along the side. She shook her head and erased something, then quickly fixed it. He looked away for a minute, and when Robin looked back, she tucked the paper away in the big book, eating her pizza slowly. She looked exhausted. About seventeen or eighteen, the collar of a work uniform peeking out of her hoodie. Was this her break? He glanced at the seemingly innocent watch on his wrist- oh, it only could hack the Justice League's systems, no big deal- and saw the time. 8:37. Was she on the night shift?

"Wonder what's on that paper," Richard mumbled, now thinking about something else entirely. The girl stopped eating and opened up the sketchbook, flipping through drawing after drawing that Robin didn't even dare to attempt to draw himself. They were beautiful! Was she taking art classes? She better be with that skill. She propped the book on her knees and picked up where she'd left off on the sketch of an owl flying through what looked like a city with snow falling around it. Part of it was colored and incredibly detailed, mainly the owl. She sketched in a few snowflakes, then took a bite of her pizza again. As she sat the half finished slice down, she seemed to freeze and turned in Dick's direction glancing at him and smiling.

And somehow, Richard found himself smiling back, then turning to focus on his food so that maybe she wouldn't think he was staring. He would look up at her once in a while, amazed at how fast she worked on the image, quickly completing it in about fifteen minutes. She wolfed down the rest of her pizza and drained her cup of hot- probably by now lukewarm- chocolate in one gulp. In a minute or two her waitress came over with the check and she started packing her art supplies up, pulling out a worn out little purse-wallet thing with very faded floral print and pulling out a five and a one, folding them around the little drawing she'd done earlier.

"Wha…?" Robin was confused. She was leaving a drawing behind with her money? Why? As soon as she picked up a scuffed up Nike drawstring bag filled with books and art supplies, as well as a crinkled water bottle sticking out of the top, and left, he snuck over to the money. Only a few other people were around, anyways, and they were older couples who were in the back. He unfolded the money and quickly glanced around for anyone who might see him. His eyes darted over the paper, skipping the drawing and going straight to the bottom.

A…

a YouTube reference?

He frowned, staring at what was written in very neat letters: "YouTube- Owl City - This Isn't The End". His eyes jumped back up to try to take in the picture, but before he could, he saw the waitress in the kitchen, coming with someone's order. He fixed the money back the way it had been and sat it down by the girl's empty cup and plate, then hurriedly sat back down at his own seat.

Completely unnoticed.

He smirked to himself. Being Batman's partner was definitely helping with sneaking around.

But when the waitress grabbed up her tip, she only laughed as she held the drawing between her manicured nails. "Another one…" she headed for a trashcan near Robin's booth and Robin knew that the girl's work on that little paper was for nothing.

Robin couldn't help himself and asked, "'Another one?'"

She laughed again, the sound harsh and abrasive on his ears; Richard wondered what it would sound like to Superboy… "This girl always leaves these. I've gotten four by now."

"All the same?"

"No…" the waitress, about the same age as the other girl, stopped walking, looking at him. "Why?"

He just shrugged. "Well, I figure if someone put in the time to make something for you, you should probably keep it."

The waitress walked to his booth and her eyes hardened. "Look, I don't believe in this crap that she does- I go to school with her. Why would I want these?!"

"So you threw the others out." Robin's statement caused him to smirk at her response, a surprised look mixed with curiosity.

"Um, uh… no," she admitted. "I don't have any use for them, though. I'm just keeping them to show my friends how stupid they are."

That made Dick mad. "If you think they're so stupid, then give me this one."

"What?"

"Give me this drawing," he repeated, slowing his syllables down so he sounded like he was talking to a five year old. "When someone does something nice for you, you don't have to be a jerk about it."

"You don't even know her," the waitress spat, throwing the paper at him.

His smirk only grew. "You're right. But she seemed nice enough."

"Oh, she's nice alright. But she's always so quiet and… never mind," she broke off her rant when she saw Robin wasn't siding with her at all and stomped off with the rest of her tip- a very generous tip- in hand.

Richard took the paper in his hands, but before he could read it, he saw Artemis, Wally and Conner coming back. Not wanting them to notice, he shoved the paper into his jacket pocket and plastered on a smirk, hoping they couldn't sense he was up to anything or… or feeling like crap. "Hey, guys," he said smiling. "How was everything?"

"Good. But Conner," Wally began as he gulped down his soda, "you don't need to punch the games when you lose a life."

"You punched them?" Robin laughed, standing so they could go as he pulled out his wallet. The waitress saw them getting up and hurried over with their check, then left to help with a huge take-out order for a Christmas party.

Superboy nodded, looking angry, confused and innocent all at once; his basic expression… it was the norm for him.

Artemis rolled her eyes. "Yes, and then Kid Wonder over here decided to try the game after Conner, and-"

"I'm sticking with the joystick was already broken!" Wally broke in, hands raised in surrender. "Besides, the kid on before us was kicking the thing!"

"That poor Galaga game… you know that game's old, right?" Robin asked as he quickly did the math in his head for a twenty percent tip- with how many times the poor girl was running back and forth for Wally's bottomless pit of a stomach- and laid the money on the table.

Artmeis cocked her head to the side as she grabbed her coat off the booth. "You sure you wanna pay that bill? Kid Mouth here ate enough for all Rhode Island!"

"I did not…" Wally tried to retort. "Okay… maybe I did. But seriously, Rob's got it all under control."

"He's made of money?"

Robin bit back his smirk as they left the restaurant, shrugging at Conner as Wally and Artemis began fighting again the second they stepped outside into the bitter winter wind and the beginnings of a blanket of snow covering the earth, fingering the little drawing all the while.

…

Robin couldn't sleep.

He was back at the manor, lying in bed, his room pitch black. The electricity worked fine- it was just a night where the snow blotted out the moon as it fell, the clouds squashing any light that would've come into his room. His laptop was sitting on his desk across from his bed, charging. The only light in the room came from the dull orange glow of the charger, showing his computer still had time before it was back at one hundred percent.

The drawing lay under his pillow. Dick wanted to get it out, look at it, look up the reference at the bottom… but if Bruce saw it… what would Bruce think?

No… what would Batman think?

He shook his head and finally muttered, "Screw it." Jumping from his bed, he unplugged his computer and snatched a set of headphones off his desk and was back in bed with speed that could rival the Flash's. He pulled out the paper and typed in the song name and artist, staring at the paper and rolling his eyes as the blasted Youtube commercial, something for shaving cream, played out. The song finally started playing, and Dick listened.

**"An 8 year old girl had a panic attack 'cause the father she loved left and never looked back. No longer the hero she counted on- he told her he loved her and then he was gone…"**

Whoa… He stared at the computer screen, the video he'd found only having the album cover for the song, which was a strip across a black background that was colored like rainbow. That wasn't helping any, so he went back to listening.

**"She tried to look happy in front her friends, but knew that she'd never feel normal again. She fought back the tears as they filled her eyes, and wanted him back just to tell him goodbye…"**

Ha, he knew what that felt like.

**"When the rain falls down, when it all turns around, when the light goes out this isn't the end…"**

Something built up in Richard's chest as he listened, and he knew something was coming in the lyrics as the part- what he was pretty sure was the chorus- on the drawing passed. Something bad…

**"Her dad was a good guy that everyone liked, but nobody knew he was dying inside…"**

It was coming… He could feel the tears building up and the part wasn't even here y-

**"He promised his family he'd be all right, and then with a gunshot he left them behind…"**

The hand holding the paper shook and it fell onto his bed, next to the computer; Dick bit his lip, almost drawing blood as he tried not to let the tears build up. If they did, he'd be crying.

**"When the rain falls down, when it all turns around, when the light goes out this isn't the end…"**

He didn't expect THIS kind of song! What in the world… the chorus sounded like something a lot more optimistic, not… not this.

**"When the rain falls down, when it all turns around, when the light goes out this isn't the end…"**

And there was that stinking chorus, taunting him again. He swallowed the lump in his throat and grabbed up the blanket and sheets on his bed in his tense fists, shaking. He wasn't angry- it wasn't anger… but what was it?! He felt… felt horrible… like he did that night when, when they… fell.

**"A role of a father he never deserved. He abandoned his daughter, and never returned. And over the years though the pain was real. She finally forgave him, and started to heal…"**

Finally the tears fell. First one, then another slowly rolled down his cheeks. Richard grabbed up the paper and tried to read it, but the tears clouded his vision and he ended up dropping the drawing onto the laptop's keyboard, his hands going to his eyes as he cried, the song playing on.

**"How close to the ending? Well, nobody knows. The future's a mystery and anything goes…"**

The pain that Richard carried around, had carried around for years now, was coming out. Full force. Sure, Bruce or Alfred had spoken to him briefly about the whole incident, and a little of the pain would wear away, but never like this. This…

this was closure.

Getting Zucco… that had helped some.

But not like a little slip of paper had.

**"Love is confusing and life is hard- you fight to survive cause you made it this far…"**

His breaths were shaky as the tears would stop and start, his face red, his heart hammering with a mix of pain and grief- and also, somehow, relief.

Sure, his parents were gone. Sure, Bruce and Alfred would be gone for Christmas. And yeah… he hurt everyday because come on, his life was crazy hard to make it through…

The pain in his chest, building up to a point where even the Joker couldn't cause this much pain with torture, erupted, leaving him with something else. It was a feeling of calm. He smiled, the rivers racing down his face dripping onto the bed and his pajamas. Dick looked out at the window, the world outside still dark. "It's…" he felt the grin grow, "it's okay. And I'm gonna be okay."

**"It's all too astounding to comprehend. It's just the beginning this isn't the end…"**

The tears kept coming, but slower now. He looked up at the ceiling, for whatever reason he didn't know, and whispered, "Thank you."

This Christmas…

he was going to be just fine.

**"It's just the beginning this isn't the end."**

* * *

><p><em>-this is my second time writing anything for Young Justice… sorry if i took any characters out of context- i tried my best not to. also… sorry for any typos :(<em>

_i wrote this in memory of a family member who passed away one year ago today :'( when this song from Owl City came out months later, i cried when i first heard it. it's a beautiful song :')  
><em>

_lyrics from Owl City "This isn't the End"_

_have a great day (or night… stupid time zones!), and God bless! :)_


End file.
